In 2023, the American Academy of Pediatrics did a review of all children weight loss treatments in America, and concluded that "in all of these studies, if the treatment is discontinued, children tend to regain weight and lose the attendant health benefits. There is limited longitudinal evidence about durability of weight change after treatment".
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What this means is that all childhood weight loss programs that exist today are just temporary fixes. In fact, 96% of children who lose weight gain it all back within the next 5 years. 
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And I was one of those children.

The picture above is me at age 7, and age 15. I went through dozens of weight loss programs throughout my childhood, losing and regaining weight, but never succeeded at keeping the weight off. (Read my story) 
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This was beyond painful. The excess weight led to decades of bullying, low self-esteem, and lack of confidence in myself because I felt I couldn’t stop shoving food in my face and gaining weight. For most of my life, I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I felt hopeless.
 
But I didn’t give up. I was determined to overcome my obesity, and then use everything I learned to help overweight children, so that they skip the decades of pain I went through.
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That’s why I created Step Together. 
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But how is Step Together different from all the programs I did as a child?
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What makes this program unique is that the focus is primarily on parents, and not children. 
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You see, whenever I went through a weight loss program as a child, the program would inevitably end and I’d gain all the weight back. That’s because the root causes of my obesity were never addressed.
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The root causes were the environment that I was raised in, the behaviors and relationship with health that my parents had unconsciously passed down to me, and the emotional stress that was hiding behind my eating disorder.
 
Since none of these causes were addressed, no matter how hard I tried to “diet” and push myself to exercise, I was swimming against a strong river that was always leading me back to obesity.
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I’m here to help you avoid this vicious cycle for your child. I’m here to help you address the true reason behind your child’s excess weight.
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In doing so, we will focus on making you the health expert of your own family, so that you lead by example, and know exactly what to do to help your child throughout their growth. 
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In this program, you’ll learn everything I painstakingly learned in the last 20 years about the latest science of nutrition, adult and children behavior, and physical fitness that led to my successful recovery from obesity.
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But beyond that, I’m here to share with you the perspective I had as a child, and to teach you how I wish my parents handled this complex issue so that it didn’t make my eating disorder worse, and make me feel even more shame than I already did. 
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By working with parents, I’ve found that this is the only solution that leads to lasting change. To overcome excess weight in childhood, children need a strong role model that is there for them 24/7. Someone who has mastered their own health and psychology, and can be the strong river that naturally guides them towards health. 
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And as much as I’d love to do that for your children, I can’t have as much influence on their life as you can. The change has to start with you.
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Again, I’m beyond grateful that you’re embarking on this journey with me. Nothing makes me happier than seeing children regain their health, and the fact that you’re deciding to help your child means the world to me. I will not let you down.
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Now, let’s go into how this program works.

Now that you know how the program works, let’s continue with the lesson!

It’s up to you as a parent if you want your child to read these lessons, and/or take part in the coaching sessions. The primary goal of this program is to change your behavior. Once you change, the change will naturally follow for your child.
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Some children, usually above the age of 12, are old enough to understand and apply the same lessons you’re learning. Some of these sessions might touch more sensitive topics, so I will let you know beforehand.

Nonetheless, I understand that parents want to see results quickly with their child. To do so, I want you to keep in mind these 3 key principles throughout the program.

This program is mainly targeted at parents, and the expectation is that you will lead by example by doing what you learn in this program to the best of your ability.

Throughout the program, you can gently encourage (never force) your child to follow what you’re learning, but don’t expect them to adopt it so quickly before they see the results of your behavior change on your physical body and energy.

Forcing your child to do something because it’s healthy, and chastising them when they don’t doesn’t work. Your role is to make healthy choices the easiest and most appealing choices for your child, while letting them choose for themselves. 

‍Throughout this program, we will work together to get your child involved, and genuinely want to make the right choices. The way to do this is to truly seek to understand where they are, what drives them (both emotionally and intellectually), where they want to go, and help them get there with the right type of encouragement and accountability (just like I’m doing with you in this program). 

Luckily enough, there’s no child who truly wants to stay overweight, so it’s mainly a matter of gaining their trust, and making them feel that you’re on the same team and can genuinely help them.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve set myself a goal to lose weight by a certain date, and gained it all back shortly after. We always think we can lose the weight quickly, and maintain it once we’re at our goal weight, but this is a big trap. And I’ve fallen in it more than 50 times. 
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That’s why in this program, we’re deliberately taking the slow approach. Over the next 16 weeks, we’ll slowly focus on adopting all the conditions and habits that lead to someone being healthy, and make these part of our identity so that it becomes automatic. And in doing this, you’ll see the excess weight naturally shed away, even though it’s not our main goal. But most importantly, by taking this slow approach, you’ll have adopted the habits and identity that will help your family stay healthy for the rest of your lives.
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On the surface, weight gain is simple: We gain weight when we consume more energy than we burn.
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For example: If your body burns the equivalent of 20 apples in energy, and you consume 21 apples, you will slowly gain weight over time. (Keeping it simple on purpose, We’ll get into the specifics of nutrition and calories in a later lesson)
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The real question is: What’s causing your child to eat more than they need? 

This is where things get complex. 
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Consuming more than your body physically needs is not natural. But in the food-abundant and sedentary world we live in, it’s unfortunately the norm. That’s why more than 3 out of 5 children today in the US are overweight.
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Our goal with this program is to help you, the parent, to revert this norm for your child. To do so, we need to determine all the causes that lead to excess caloric intake in your family’s environment and habits, and slowly redesign them so that they naturally lead your family towards health.
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There are many factors leading to excess caloric consumption for your child. It could be the result of:

  1) Genetic predisposition to food addiction or excess weight gain
  2) Your culture and community’s relationship with food
  3) The marketing of junk food
  4) The foods you have in your house or at school
  5) The relationship you have with food as rewards 
  6) You and your child’s friends and relatives relationship with food
  7) Your family's eating timing and habits
  8) Excessive technology usage
 9) Difficulties at school or at home
10) Adverse childhood experiences (trauma)
11) Disordered eating, emotional eating
12) Your relationship between parents
13) Your relationship with your child
14) Your exercise habits
15) Your non-exercise movement habits (stairs vs. elevators, walking vs car) 
16) The list goes on and on
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Throughout this program, my role is to help you find and solve as many of these factors as possible.
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And we’re starting today with your first assignment.

Congrats on finishing this first lesson! This lesson helped set the baseline for our work together, and I’m thrilled to go more in depth in the next one.

Make sure each parent completes the Parental Modeling Evaluation more than 2 hrs prior to the call, so that I have enough time to review them and come to the session prepared.

If you haven’t had time to complete it, please reschedule the call so that you do, as the content of the first call is mainly based on your answers in this assignment.
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I’m looking forward to reading your answers.

For now, I’ll leave you with this quote:

Remember, I'm here to support you every step of the way. If you have any questions or need any clarification, don't hesitate to reach out.

With love, 
Kamy